Flashback 57

I’m tired and I want to sleep
the ringing in my ears
can’t sleep
you need to go away
the nightmare seeps back in

your words are crisp and loud
never want to hear your voice
but there they are
haunting me
consuming me

You won’t go away
can’t push you
away
it seems I’m stuck here
in my own nightmare
awake

how can one escape the horror
inside their mind
can’t physically leave
it’s a mental state
of mind

put my socks and shoes on
go outside
you’re with me
get into the car, go for a drive
you’re with me

want you out of my head
the memories
so vivid
and painful

get the fuck out of my life
you’re dead now
so many
years ago

You won’t go away
can’t push you
away
it seems I’m stuck here
in my own nightmare
awake

how can one escape the horror
inside their mind
can’t physically leave
it’s a mental state
of mind

clawing back to
reality
the fight goes on another day
some days I win
some days I die
a little more inside

crawling back to normal
what is normal
breathe and fight again
fight every day

you won’t go away
I push you
away
stuck in my nightmare
awake

try to escape
the horror
inside the mind
can’t physically leave
it’s a mental state
of mind

The dreams are worse
I cannot fight
not yet today
I’m drowning
pulling myself to shore
stand for the battle today

you won’t go away
I push you
away
stuck in my nightmare
awake

try to escape
the horror
through a door
inside my mind
can’t physically leave
it’s a mental state
of mind

The worry and fear
what if I cannot win
defeated
how do I walk away
find victory

you won’t go away
I push you away
get the fuck out
of my head
I’m awake
and I’m going to win

escape the horror
through a door
inside my mind
it’s a mental state
of mind

victory lies
on the other side
of my eyes
the waking nightmare
is not in charge

you won’t go away
so I push you away
I’m awake and can see
it’s a mental state of mind