Category: Ramblings Page 1 of 14

Stories by me, not AI

I sometimes get behind in my writing for Nspire Today. We aim for around 1,800 words per article. My stories are typically 1,700-2,700 words, but the majority are around 2,300 words.

I can write longer if needed. I also find that, as I near 3,000 words, my hands start to hurt. Sometimes, I’ll push through as it means I’m close to being done with a second story, but my editor, Jeff, has repeatedly told me to only write one story a day, so I don’t risk burning out. I typically write 14-17 stories per month plus a column about mental health.

Cash cows

Formula One has always been a rich man’s sport. It’s also known as the pinnacle of motor racing due to its innovative engineering. This year, hell, the past three days, has seen a lot more talk about what’s going on in the sport and we haven’t even gotten to the livery reveals.

I don’t feel well

I looked at the clock – 5:27 a.m. I’ve lost nearly 90 minutes in this flashback. The screaming woke me up again. My nausea alternated between a 7 and a 9. When it finally settled down to a 3, I started crying. I thought to myself, “I don’t feel well.” Then, a memory unlocked of a conversation I had many times with my mother when she came to wake me up for school.

Deep breath

The Sugar Factory in Scottsbluff on the evening of January 11, 2024.

A few days ago, I woke up to find my computer had rebooted. When I went to recover my open files, LibreOffice went through the process, but, then, nothing. Untitled1, Untitled2, Untitled3, and so on were empty. I sat and stared at my screen. There was no anger, only sadness. I’d lost the all the posts I had been working on for the blog except one. That one is titled Book List 2024. I lost the last bit of the file, but it’s easily replaced.

It’s about time

I’ve been trying to keep this space as non-political as possible. Sometimes, however, you read the news with a smile. I was content to let the obituary notification for Henry Kissinger go, visit ishenrykissingerdead one last time, and move on with life. This morning, however, the first thing I read was about some shit South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem said.

Maybe October didn’t win

Sometimes it’s hard to sit down to write and explain what is going on with me. There are always several different stories bouncing around in my head, so I’m never short of ideas. What I lack is providing a good description of things to people who have no experience in the realms I have been in.

Sleeping would be nice

My clock at an angle, which makes the moon phase look wrong.

I woke up at 11:30 p.m., panicked and sweating. It’s common occurrence. My right eye hurt – another frequent notation in my sleep log, which is usually connected to the entire right side of my face hurting.

Working with my therapist, I have an inkling of what some of these things are, but it’s going to take time to figure them out. I have to piece together what’s happening and why, while listening to what my body is telling me. Unlike my brain, my body can’t paint pictures or speak.

I don’t sleep on Fridays

I don’t sleep well most nights, but I never get any rest on Fridays. It’s been this way most of my life and I never knew why.

A game changing theory and realizing you’re not alone

A sunflower soaks up the rays of the sun at BE Farm in Bayard, Nebraska on August 3, 2023.

A few days ago, I read a column, which really hit home. The author, Lucia Osborne-Crowley, is a trauma expert. After reporting on the Ghislaine Maxwell trial devastated her own mental health, she checked herself in to one of the world’s leading residential trauma-treatment centers.

I would encourage everyone to go read the article, but I wanted to share some parts of the article that resonated with me.

Being good enough

When I accepted the position with Nspire Today and decided to go back to writing, I knew I would have to deal with two issues – talking on the phone and some thoughts about my skills.

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