Writings

Category: Ramblings Page 1 of 8

The moment in between

Agate Fossil Beds National Monument, 6:59 am, Aug. 21, 2017.

The sky is a blueish-gray. The sun is debating how quickly to rise in the cool, somber sky as the peacefulness of twilight arrives. The quietness of the early morning is peaceful and relaxing and I long to remain in this moment.

My blood is ink

Many people find writing to be therapeutic. I am one of them. One key difference for me is I rarely put things down on paper to never be read again. The majority of what I write is posted publicly.

It’s the little things that count

As human beings, it’s easy for us to look at the negative rather than the positive. If we make a mistake, we beat ourselves up over it. We look to blame someone or something else. The negative is easy. We should be paying attention to the little things that bring us joy and appreciation in our lives.

It just doesn’t work for me

The left side of the desk is my side. The right side is Paul’s side. I do my online therapy from here and there are many distractions.

I walked into my therapist’s office for my usual Tuesday appointment and sat down in my usual spot. We exchanged the normal pleasantries before she said, “Irene. We need to talk.”

My brain screamed the loudest, “Fuck,” I ever heard rattle through my skull. I knew what was coming.

Peace is just a click away

Over the past few weeks, I have been making a conscious effort to spent less time on the internet. It’s been a mostly successful endeavor.

I don’t want to return to normal

Londo close up.

After a month of staying home to try and keep the coronavirus pandemic from spreading, many people are longing for the time when life can return to normal and how everything was before we started isolating at home. I don’t want to return to what normal was. I want to go someplace better.

On the edge of the day

Today wasn’t a good day. It began somewhere around 3 a.m., but I honestly don’t know what time it was. The first time I was aware of the time, the clock read 3:15 a.m., Tuesday morning.

A box of confidence

Confidence. A belief in oneself. The idea that you have the ability to meet the challenges of life and succeed. Realistically knowing your capabilities and feeling secure with the knowledge of what you can achieve. It is something I still struggle with today.

It crushes me

I received some bad news yesterday and it crushed me.

The news probably isn’t the end of the world and in the grand scheme of things never will be, but it hit me so deep that I didn’t know any other way to react. I didn’t even feel it coming on. There was the news. Then….it just crushed me.

It’s a detriment to us all

A little more than a year ago, I began a trek to use social media less. It is clearly evident that it makes me sad, angry, and confrontational, and puts me in a general state of despair. Studies have found it’s detrimental to your mental health and I was wondering why I do this to myself when there are clearly other, healthier things I could be doing instead.

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