Writings

Tag: mental health Page 1 of 7

Looking ahead as I continue to confront the past

Many people are celebrating the end of 2020 by posting positive things that happened to them during an overall terrible year. As I’ve said before, my new year usually starts in November, but the second half of 2020 hit me a little harder than usual and I’m only now getting around to my thoughts.

Making hard choices

Our Thanksgiving turkey.

Since March when words like COVID, coronavirus, social distancing, and mask wearing became part of our regular vocabulary, I’ve worked hard to try and keep my life as normal as possible. I struggle to do that now.

The precipice of October

Tomorrow is October 1, and I’m terrified.

I could be angry every day

In my continuing quest to lead a more peaceful life, I have found I could be far more angry than I am today. I’ve cut back on the number of news sites I read each and as well as the time spent reading because it really does just make me angry.

Saying yes to drugs

Last October during a regularly scheduled checkup with my doctor, we had a discussion about taking medication for my PTSD-related nightmares and flashbacks. I hate taking medications, but she noticed a continued increase of nightmares and flashbacks. I wanted to think about it. I’ve said I wanted to think about it every three months during my checkups.

Fourteen months later

This post was originally supposed to have a title of “A year on,” but I kept deleting it. The words weren’t right. I couldn’t focus. It wasn’t turning out to be what I wanted it to be. It wasn’t writer’s block. It was more what was going on in my personal life and the things that prevented me from writing something I wanted to publish. I want to discuss a few things from the past year and where I’m at right now. Hopefully, you’ll want to continue that journey with me.

This isn’t the post I intended to write

For the past few weeks, I have been trying to finish a post about how grateful I am for where I’m at right now. I may still get it finished in the near future, but right now, I just can’t. I’ve been doing everything I can to fight off some depression and other personal issuess, and I don’t have any reserves left to do anything else.

Rabbit turns 50

The last known photo of Rabbit.

My father found Rabbit in the gift shop at Horton Memorial Hospital. He took Rabbit up to my mother’s hospital room and gave Rabbit to me. He and my mother had been awake all night. I had caused them to miss the Independence Day fireworks. It seems I hated fireworks from the very beginning.

For most of my life, I’ve relied on Rabbit to help me get through the tough times, to share in the good times, and to keep my secrets.

COVID-19 ignored blue flags and refused to move over

Everyone thought the Australian Grand Prix was going to happen. It didn’t. Then, everything changed.

The moment in between

Agate Fossil Beds National Monument, 6:59 am, Aug. 21, 2017.

The sky is a blueish-gray. The sun is debating how quickly to rise in the cool, somber sky as the peacefulness of twilight arrives. The quietness of the early morning is peaceful and relaxing and I long to remain in this moment.

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