“Have you noticed your mental health improve at all since you left Facebook?” Sandra asked. I nodded my head in agreement. In between shoveling bites of food in our faces she admitted that it seemed to help her mental health as well by spending less time on the platform. It’s a task that has taken me nearly a year to accomplish.
After deleting my Facebook account in April, I created a new account a month later. I went from having 1,404 friends to 221. It’s still unmanageable. It’s still not good for me to be there. After spending months trying unsuccessfully to leave social media, I deleted all the apps off my phone. Quitting Twitter was easier. I had three accounts there and it was the main source of my issues. I simply left. Try as I might, I just couldn’t stop logging in to Facebook.
One Thursday afternoon, three “friends” made fun of me for trying to leave Facebook. They made comments about how I was “hilariously threatening to leave” and how I said I was going to stop posting, but never did. When I tried to explain the very real difficulties and the detriment to my mental health it was causing, they laughed more. They seriously thought I was joking.
Their comments cut deeply. They didn’t understand. To them, Facebook is happy, fun time. For me, it’s an anxiety-ridden plague that won’t go away. It was causing serious, physical harm and they laughed in my face.
As much as their words hurt, I knew I needed to change my tactics because I desired to go, but kept being dragged back into the cesspool. So I enlisted some help.
I texted my friend, Amber, and asked her if she could help hold me accountable to not logging in. She would be my vocal conscience. Now in my third week, I find I don’t miss Facebook at all. When I had to log in for work purposes last week, I found that I didn’t want to. The thought went through my mind that I would rather fail in my work project than log on. However, since it was necessary to do so, I logged in.
Now, I am aggravated that I have to keep checking back to see if I got a response to my post. I don’t even care and I don’t want to be on Facebook at all. Right now, I’m only logging in to continue a conversation with Jeff Smith, former reporter at the Star-Herald. We should probably switch to text.
As far as I know, Sandra is the only person who has noticed my absence on Facebook. She’s the only one who has asked me. The “friends” who made fun of me have said nothing.
I have spent the last few weeks reading – Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, translated by Gregory Hays, American Nations by Colin Woodard, and The Taste of Conquest by Michael Krondl. Online, I’ve read several cool, interesting, and thought–provoking stories. I know I will also spend the time writing.
I spent Saturday morning hanging out with my husband and Saturday afternoon hanging out with a friend. I ate lots of chocolate a friend gave me at work. I must remember to write the thank you card. It was all delicious.
I’m also enjoying the fact that I don’t care what happens on Facebook anymore. My stress levels have been reduced, I’m not having as big an issue with my depression and anxiety, and people aren’t making fun of me – at least to my face. That’s a positive outcome if nothing else ever comes of it.
If you need to contact me, Facebook isn’t the way to get an immediate answer anymore. If I miss out or hear about something days or weeks later, that’s fine, too. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with with my pencil and notepad for the rest of the day.
Jenny Harms
I apologise if I have ever hurt your feelings, Irene. Truly. I have missed you on Facebook. I’m trying to cut back on how often I check it. All of the political stuff is what brings me down. Instead of unfollowing my friends, I have blocked their sites that they posted, both sides. But it’s the way I can see pictures of my grandkids, nieces and nephews. I would miss that. I hope you find some peace from the drama of social media. It’s just like having to go somewhere you don’t want to go, too peopley out there. I hope you still consider me as a friend.
Brandon Nelson
I finished “Meditations” just before the start of the new year! It would be great to get your opinion of it.
As someone who follows your posts with interest, I will say that your absence did not go unnoticed. I assumed that you were taking a break (a healthful practice) and I failed reach out and confirm my thinking.
It’s good to hear that deleting your accounts has brought you some relief. Honestly, I should follow suit.
Irene
I loved Meditations. I’ve got some notes and was planning on writing some things down. I am glad my absence did not go unnoticed. I really needed to walk away for a little while and figure out what’s best and where to go next. It’s been a seriously tough task to stop spending time on social media. I have keep my Facebook account for posting the stuff I write here and having a way to keep in touch with folks. It’s so convenient to keep in touch with people there, but it’s such a time suck as well. I’m still searching for a good balance because I’d like to stay in touch with people.