Writings

Tag: life Page 1 of 2

The year that was

For most people, December 31 is a time to reflect on the events in their lives and look forward to what lies ahead. Some participate in making New Year’s resolutions and make goals to do better and be better in the new year. I’ve never participated in these events. I believe if you discover a change in life is needed, do it in that moment rather than wait until some apportioned time set by society.

Since 2017, my new year has been set to November 9. On that day, everything changed. It was the day something broke inside of me, but I do not view it as a bad thing. Over the past year, I have made significant changes in my life, which have helped me to grow as a person and allowed me to start down a path I have chosen rather than settling for the circumstances life threw at me.

Age

Choosing to stay

Every 40 seconds, someone dies by suicide. That’s a staggering number. I’m not writing today to fill up space with facts and figures. We all know about suicide and its devastating effects. We know we need to be kinder to one another. I’m not writing today to the people who already do this and who raise awareness to try to reduce the numbers of suicides. I’m writing to the person reading this that has felt low enough to consider completing suicide. I know how it feels.

When the hour arrives

Please bear with me and my silliness for just a little while longer

September through December are difficult times for me personally. The end of October and beginning of November are the worst. For thirty-four years, I’ve kept the demons at bay by ignoring them, but they are always close by, pushing for relevance in my life. One year ago, I began to confront them. One by one, they are having less relevance in my life and I am moving a little bit forward each day to find the better me.

The little girl in the picture

Broken

Merde de chien

Middletown, New York is a city with plenty of parks and designated play areas among the shopping centers, supermarkets, and concrete jungle, but, if you are a kid, there are also plenty of wooded areas to explore and step away from the trappings of city life.

Where I’m at right now

Deep breath.

This is not an easy post for me to make or write, but there are some things people need to know. This past year has been a huge struggle, bigger than anyone will probably ever know.

A good friend of mine recently told me my shift in writing here has turned extremely personal. That is due, in part, to finally taking care of my mental health issues with a professional instead of doing it on my own.

By working on these issues, it has become harder to mask my inner turmoil. People at work ask if I’m okay. I’m not, but I am, and I will be. That’s the important part.

When work hits a little too close to home

Imagine living in a world where you are told nothing you ever do is right. Imagine a world where everyone questions your actions or behavior. Imagine where everyone who could help you fails or is removed from your life. Imagine what kind of person you would be if you grew up in a world like this.

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