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Just a few cool photos

I wanted to share one of my recent favorites again for this post because I find myself looking at it often and smiling.

Throughout 2023, I’ve been taking steps to spend more time outside and slowly get back into the world. I took a break from the world for a while for two reasons.

The first was that I worked the night shift and worked three 1-hour shifts on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. This doesn’t leave a lot of time to do anything else, especially when you stick to that time all week.

The second I haven’t really spoken much about until lately. I don’t know how much I’ll share, but therapy had become a detriment for me and I couldn’t really see it. It’s not that I didn’t want to go out and do things, I literally couldn’t. It wasn’t depression. It was the extreme fatigue that comes with constant flashbacks.

I think that’s all I will say for now as I wanted to share some neat photos I took. There isn’t really a long story for each one, just something cool I wanted to share and put out there.

Burning an unfulfilled path to begin a new journey

As we grow and learn, we are able to decipher when things are good for us and when they are not. Sometimes, we need a push to get there, but, for me, how I got to the next step in my journey in life doesn’t matter as much as the fact that I’m here and continuing on toward a better future.

Solace from evil

Along the Oregon Trail in western Scotts Bluff County.

The world feels different at night when all the people and bullshit go to rest. I am alone with my thoughts and can feel comfortable being me. I don’t need to deflect from the constant intrusion of christianity upon my life. I don’t have to hear empty platitudes of misguided people who think they understand everything about everyone and dole out insincere phrases which only make them feel better.

At night, I listen to the sound of the coal cars rumbling through town and the wind blowing, gently shaking my windows and the trees. This time is mine. I have no obligation to be doing anything. I read. I write. I breathe.

Things the pandemic has taught me

We’ve been living with the Covid-19 pandemic for a little more than a year now and I’ve learned a lot of new things as well as reaffirmed some things I already knew.

The year that was

For most people, December 31 is a time to reflect on the events in their lives and look forward to what lies ahead. Some participate in making New Year’s resolutions and make goals to do better and be better in the new year. I’ve never participated in these events. I believe if you discover a change in life is needed, do it in that moment rather than wait until some apportioned time set by society.

Since 2017, my new year has been set to November 9. On that day, everything changed. It was the day something broke inside of me, but I do not view it as a bad thing. Over the past year, I have made significant changes in my life, which have helped me to grow as a person and allowed me to start down a path I have chosen rather than settling for the circumstances life threw at me.


Choosing to stay

Every 40 seconds, someone dies by suicide. That’s a staggering number. I’m not writing today to fill up space with facts and figures. We all know about suicide and its devastating effects. We know we need to be kinder to one another. I’m not writing today to the people who already do this and who raise awareness to try to reduce the numbers of suicides. I’m writing to the person reading this that has felt low enough to consider completing suicide. I know how it feels.

When the hour arrives

Please bear with me and my silliness for just a little while longer

September through December are difficult times for me personally. The end of October and beginning of November are the worst. For thirty-four years, I’ve kept the demons at bay by ignoring them, but they are always close by, pushing for relevance in my life. One year ago, I began to confront them. One by one, they are having less relevance in my life and I am moving a little bit forward each day to find the better me.

The little girl in the picture

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