The chaos inside

I keep the lights on
because I’m afraid of the shadows

today I’m far away
from being fine

the toll on my soul surges
I’m starting to be pulled down again

I’m drowning in a tidal wave of words
washing over my mind
and the flashbacks return

Some days
I don’t know who the hell I am
or who I’m supposed to become
Some days
I don’t give a fuck
Some days
I don’t feel good enough

The chaos inside
who am I
who should I be

I choke on the memories
they return with a thunderous crush
that takes my breath away