Writings

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Stories by me, not AI

I sometimes get behind in my writing for Nspire Today. We aim for around 1,800 words per article. My stories are typically 1,700-2,700 words, but the majority are around 2,300 words.

I can write longer if needed. I also find that, as I near 3,000 words, my hands start to hurt. Sometimes, I’ll push through as it means I’m close to being done with a second story, but my editor, Jeff, has repeatedly told me to only write one story a day, so I don’t risk burning out. I typically write 14-17 stories per month plus a column about mental health.

Sleeping would be nice

My clock at an angle, which makes the moon phase look wrong.

I woke up at 11:30 p.m., panicked and sweating. It’s common occurrence. My right eye hurt – another frequent notation in my sleep log, which is usually connected to the entire right side of my face hurting.

Working with my therapist, I have an inkling of what some of these things are, but it’s going to take time to figure them out. I have to piece together what’s happening and why, while listening to what my body is telling me. Unlike my brain, my body can’t paint pictures or speak.

World Mental Health Day

Note: For some reason, the video works for some folks, but not others. Here is the direct link to the video on YouTube.

Today was World Mental Health Day. I spent it by taking the day off and doing things for my own mental health. This included watching some videos and a little bit of writing, but mostly just thinking and reflecting on life and how to get a better balance on the many things that intersect with my mind and my personal life from day-to-day.

The video above would have never been made 20 years ago. In that sense, the world has come a long way in being open about mental health. The drivers have some good things to say as well. We still have so much farther to go, but this is a good first step.

Six months and not turning back

On September 27, 2021, I pulled the plug on all my social media accounts. Despite my worries, it’s been absolutely worth it.

This isn’t the post I intended to write

For the past few weeks, I have been trying to finish a post about how grateful I am for where I’m at right now. I may still get it finished in the near future, but right now, I just can’t. I’ve been doing everything I can to fight off some depression and other personal issuess, and I don’t have any reserves left to do anything else.

It just doesn’t work for me

The left side of the desk is my side. The right side is Paul’s side. I do my online therapy from here and there are many distractions.

I walked into my therapist’s office for my usual Tuesday appointment and sat down in my usual spot. We exchanged the normal pleasantries before she said, “Irene. We need to talk.”

My brain screamed the loudest, “Fuck,” I ever heard rattle through my skull. I knew what was coming.

Peace is just a click away

Over the past few weeks, I have been making a conscious effort to spent less time on the internet. It’s been a mostly successful endeavor.

At the edge

The year that was

For most people, December 31 is a time to reflect on the events in their lives and look forward to what lies ahead. Some participate in making New Year’s resolutions and make goals to do better and be better in the new year. I’ve never participated in these events. I believe if you discover a change in life is needed, do it in that moment rather than wait until some apportioned time set by society.

Since 2017, my new year has been set to November 9. On that day, everything changed. It was the day something broke inside of me, but I do not view it as a bad thing. Over the past year, I have made significant changes in my life, which have helped me to grow as a person and allowed me to start down a path I have chosen rather than settling for the circumstances life threw at me.

Current playlist

For the past year, I have been listening to music with no lyrics because I couldn’t take the unintended triggers music I like was causing me. I made a new playlist today. If it doesn’t work, I will go back to the nice playlist a pirate friend of mine made.

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